================================================ Subject: Fw: Florida dumped from union From: "]\\[][G}{T§TÖ®]v[" To: Date: Tue 10 Jul 2001 22:55:26 -0400 ================================================ This, along with the "Revocation of Independence" (on it's way once I make it fit better) were both sent in hopes of lightening up the mood on the list. Wonder what they'll do this time around. (mad's reply is posted at the bottom... I thought it was a cute follow-up, and shows that yes, she CAN have a sense of humor ). ¤]\[][G}{T§TÖ®]v[¤ ----- Original Message ----- From: Shylandria36@aol.com To: Creed Discussion Sent: Sunday, November 12, 2000 7:26 PM Subject: I hope this can lighten everyone up a bit 143 WASHINGTON D.C. - Following an emergency meeting Tuesday morning, Congress unanimously voted to excise Florida from the United States of America. The move was a reaction to the confusion and irregularities in the state's voting numbers that have totally disrupted the 2000 Presidential election. "This is the last straw," said Utah senator Orin Hatch. "First Elian Gonzales, now this." Several congressmen told reporters the decision has been a long time in coming. "We're all pretty much sick of Florida," said representative Barney Frank. "They' ve been a constant embarassment for too long now." added Frank, "They had Dan Marino for a while, but what have they done lately? Oh that's right, screw up our entire democracy. I forgot!!!" In a speech on the Senate floor, Massachussetts senator Ted Kennedy commented that the loss of Florida's sizable elderly population will free up billions of dollars in social security funds. "These are valuable funds which can now be redirected toward national defense. We can finally rebuild our demoralized, weakened military," said the Senator to roaring applause. From her New York campaign headquarters, freshly elected senator Hilary Clinton echoes the sentiments of her future colleagues on Capitol Hill,calling Florida "a hurricane-addled hellhole full of scheming Cuban immigrants." "Learn f***ing English already, you banana boat bums!!!", Clinton added. As a result of the Florida screw-up, the House and Senate decreed a new election will take place in early December. This time, ballots in each state will be tabulated by robots. "It is clear that our human vote-counting system is too inherently flawed," said Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. "The presence of these new, superior robot mast- err, I mean - tabulators will ensure 100% accuracy." "Remember," said Hastert, "every vote counts, especially if it's counted by robots." Dynamiting will begin in Florida next Wednesday, after which the state will be completely geographically seperated from the United States. "After that, they're on their own," said Hastert, "I hope they sink...F***ers." __________________________________________________ ----- Original Message ----- From: Mad4creedsmbs@aol.com To: Creed Discussion Sent: Sunday, November 12, 2000 11:14 PM Subject: Re: I hope this can lighten everyone up a bit 143 I said it before and I'll say it again. We, the citizens of Florida, have absolutely no problem leaving the US. However, Creed, being citizens of Florida will remain here with us, playing concert after concert for the new Republic of Florida. Of course, all concerts will be free to all the citizens of our bright new country and no one who is not holding a Floridian passport will be allowed to attend. Please, do not attempt to cross our borders as all non-Floridians will be shot on site. Our beaches will no longer be open to the northerners and our country will no longer be kind enough to accept your elderly and decrepit citizens. And, we will be shipping all of your relatives back to you. Walt Disney World is and will remain on Floridian soil, making it off limits to all of you. The R.O.F. has declared the song "One" as our new national anthem and Scott Stapp has been appointed interim president until an election can be held and his position can be made official. Since no one has come forward to run against him, we have no fear of someone demanding recount after recount in order to get the results they desire. Our country vows to live in peace and tranquility for all of eternity. -Mad To unsubscribe or change your preferences for the Creed-Discuss list, visit: http://www.winduplist.com/ls/discuss/form.asp