================================================ Subject: Re: NCR: Odp: RE: Pre'y Obvious From: "Tara" To: Date: Tue 17 Apr 2001 06:20:06 -0400 ================================================ I hope no one minds if I step in and offer my opinion on this topic... if so, please disregard the rest of this message and click "Delete". =) When you have a couple, and they believe in different things, it can be a problem, but it depends on the people. If you're both secure in your beliefs, and don't try to change the other person's mind, it'll probably work out just fine. However, if you're planning on having children, you may want to discuss ahead of time what you're going to do regarding your conflicting beliefs and come to some agreement ahead of time. It's probably easiest when both parts of a couple have the same religious beliefs, or at least very similar, because that's one less thing to argue about. (And I happen to think that no matter how good a relationship is, there's still going to be arguments about something). My fiance and I have similar enough beliefs that we don't argue over religion. However, I've dated men with different beliefs in the past, and never had a problem with it. I think the reason I never had a problem with it was because they never tried to push their ideals at me and "convert" me. I like religious debate, but I don't like people telling me that my opinions are wrong. I figure I avoided the religious problem in relationships by never going out with someone who tried to force me into their beliefs. I guess it comes down to the two individual people on whether it will work out or not - the more open-minded and tolerant you both are, the better luck you'll probably have. Another concern would be the actual wedding - traditionally, weddings are religious occasions and held in a church. If you're Christian and your fiancee is atheist, my suggestion would be a compromise - you get the church wedding, but she gets to plan the reception afterward. If I were an atheist who was marrying a Christian, that's probably how I'd do it - go ahead and have a church wedding, but not actively participate in the religious aspects of the ceremony, and then plan the reception my way. Okay, I'm rambling again, so I'll stop right here. =) Tara ----- Original Message ----- From: Jackson Crawford To: Sent: Monday, April 16, 2001 8:11 PM Subject: NCR: Odp: RE: Pre'y Obvious > Interesting question, Chris, but the truth is that, since I've never had a > girlfriend, fiance, wife, etc., (or even a date, although I've tried about > 13 times this year alone) I really don't know jack about Christian-Atheist > *relationships*, per se. However, I have had a friend named Meredith who for > the longest time I had tried to get to become my girlfriend or whatever, but > who had always refused because she wants to devote her entire existence to > god. This, and my many good friendships throughout my life, have given me > some insight in to the subject of Christian-Atheist *friendships*, though > not necessarily *relationships*. > What is really tricky is to balance that innate Atheist desire to tear > religion to shreds with logic, with that innate Christian desire to save the > infidel's soul. Now, as long as she's not bent on convincing you that there > is no god, and so long as you're not absolutely convinced that she's going > to go to hell for not believing, you should be able to live relatively > happily together (as much as is possible anyway). You kind of have to look > at it the way that a lot of my friends look at it: an atheist is not going > to go to heaven or to hell because he doesn't believe that either exist in > the first place. A Christian, who believes in heaven, and does everything in > his power to ensure his place there, will go there. But a Christian that > defies the principles considered necessary to go there (id est vocare - > don't murder, don't steal, et cetera) will go to hell. Basically - what you > don't believe in can't hurt you. But if you do believe in it, and yet you > defy it, it will screw you. So 'tis a measure of faith and hypocrisy - as > long as she doesn't believe in any god, there's no belief about which to be > hypocrital, ergo no punishment for infidelity. > Or, what should really be the simplest thing would be to leave religion > out of the relationship entirely. As if that was possible (just wait til > your first Sunday morning together, man, and you'll know what I mean...) > Look, I'm not going to pretend to be of expert knowledge in a subject where > I'm not, but I am, as always, just trying to help. I hope that I've been of > some minor assistance at the least. > Best of luck to you. As usual, have fun (whatever your religion, or lack > thereof), and rock on! > > Jackson Wade Crawford - The Raven of Texas/ Corvvs Texanis > Our Gracious Lord and Master To Whom All Praise and Money Are Rightly > and Verily Due of the International Enchanting Swordsmen Rifts Campaign > International Director, Corvist Association for the Preservation and > Perpetuation of Free Will > > -----Original Message----- > From: Chris H. [mailto:attitune15@yahoo.com] > Sent: Monday, April 16, 2001 4:57 PM > To: Jackson Crawford > Subject: Re: Pre'y Obvious > > > my finace' is some what athiest and we are getting > married.how do we do that do you know? > > Chris > > To unsubscribe or change your preferences for the Creed-Discuss list, visit: > http://www.winduplist.com/ls/discuss/form.asp To unsubscribe or change your preferences for the Creed-Discuss list, visit: http://www.winduplist.com/ls/discuss/form.asp